My blog’s a trash right now. I think it’s not because of laziness but simply because I am losing my interest in blogging. I still love writing. It’s only when I write that I feel so calm. ‘Cause I know if I typed something wrong, I can still hit backspace to correct it. I wish I can do the same thing with life though I know God has a reason why he didn’t allow that thing. Probably, for us to learn.  I am trying not to be random tonight but I can’t help it. I’ve been MIA for weeks and I missed typing here as well as telling stories about my awesome life. Yeah! My life is fcking awesome!  I realized that I shouldn’t see my life as shitty as what others think, heh! ‘Cause life is beautiful and my life is more than that. My life is more than awesome. Thank God! Okay. I am really random tonight.

February? Hearts? Chocolates? Flowers? Date? Bears? I. AM. SINGLE. AND SO WHAT? I have friends to go out with and who told you valentines day is just for lovers or should I say couples. I’m planning to go out with my friends and my sisters as well. I hope our plans will push through.

School’s fine. I’m still trying to get rid of laziness. “I WILL KICK ASS THIS SEM” keeps on playing in my head as well as “I WANT TO SLEEP. PLEASE, MORE?“, so good luck with that.

Gahh. I’ll try to bring back my interest in blogging. I’ll do my best. Blogging is already a part of my life and I can’t afford to lose it.

It’s been a tradition for me already to make a year-end entry for my blog and I think I have to start doing it now.

My 2009 is such a blast! It was really a roller coaster ride, a huge one with lots of ups and downs. I am very proud of my self that I conquered 2009, I am proud that I am standing still in spite of the problems and dilemmas that passed by. 2009 was the hardest year for me. It was the year that I faced a lot or problems that I thought I won’t be able to solve. But now, every time I go back to those problems I just smile and whisper to my self how proud I am and how strong I am today.

High School Misunderstandings; I didn’t enjoy my last few months in high school because of some misunderstandings between me and my so called friends. I know this is quite shallow but for me it has impact to my life today. Until now, I don’t get in touch with them that much because what’s on my mind is there’s still a ‘thing’ that’s not fixed. We haven’t talked about it yet since then so it’s kind a hard for the both of us.

High School Graduation ; I graduated from high school this year and it was really one of the great accomplishments I have done.

Love life dilemma ; A lot of you is familiar with my love problem about J. We broke up may 2009 from a 2 years and 9 months relationship because of too much misunderstanding that made him change his mind and flirt with some other girl and such. I don’t want to elaborate it anymore. This is the hardest part of my 2009 because until now I am still on the moving on phase. I am still confused. I can say that him, having a new girl is fine but suddenly it’ll hurt me that much and it just makes me want to win him back again even though I tried it already a lot of times. I know I am tough when it comes to this thing. I don’t let anything or anyone pull me down. But I guess, it’s time to move on and let go. Sometimes, love is not always about fighting, its about letting go and giving yourself a chance to surrender. People get tired and weak too. They break into pieces and time will tell when they can be whole again. It’s been a tough decision for me to let go but it’s the right one! And if it hurts, it means, you’re doing it right. Happiness is a choice, you don’t have to chase it. And love, it can wait.

Gadget freak ; I always ask Dad for a new gadget yearly. Most of the time I ask for a new cellphone it was last year that I asked for an iPod and this year for a digital camera. My digital camera was just 4 months old when it got stolen by an asshole.¹ It was a first time that a camera has been stolen from my bag. Crap! This 2010, I’ll ask for an SLR. hahaha Not the one with big lens, I want the small one with good lens already just like what my uncle have.

College Freshman ; I entered college, met new classmates and friends plus *drum rolls* my school is not just a school but its the pontifical and royal University of Santo Tomas.² Yes! I now bleed black and gold/yellow! Whatever! haha

Start of being independent ; I know I am quite used to this thing since my Mom trained us to be one, but it’s quite different now because I am living with my 2 sisters who are acting like strangers at times and such cause they were also busy with their own lives. So I have to do things on my own like cook my food and do the laundry. It feels good, seriously. Specially if I was able to finish all those things on time. Its such a great accomplishment.

First times and new things ; Of course I just entered college, a lot of things are still new to me. It was my first time to call my teacher “Professor” whenever I tell stories. I know its shallow but admit it, most college freshman students were like that and sometimes they even correct themselves if they uttered the wrong word. First time to attend the famous Paskuhan. First time to wear a college shirt. First time to speak bad words a lot of times in one day. First time to get drunk or wasted. First time to go clubbing / barhopping / partying. Whatever you call that shit! First time to drink margarita. First time to… hahaha First time to play with love, srsly. And a lot more.

To sum up everything, 2009 is something that I will teasure for a lifetime. This year, I became tougher, stronger and more mature in eveything. I know everything that happened to me is for the better and it happened for a reason. I swear, there were no regrets because it made me smile and it made me happy and that is what’s important. Happy New Year everyone!

1. I’ll pray for you whoever you are. Bastard! [↩]
2. Heck! I can’t believe I’m proud of my school right now. haha [↩]